How Much Is That Donkey (Emile) In The Window?
IT'S transfer window time, people, which can only mean one thing - inflated prices for shit players because teams are desperate for cover of...
Messi clean up
LIONEL Messi has got his cock out, pushed Cristiano Ronaldo to the floor and then taken a big piss on his face. Metaphorically speaking...
33 is the magic number
TEACHEROUS FIFA top dog Sepp Blatter has revealed that the Irish FA requested that the World Cup be expanded to "turty-tree" teams next year...
Defoe's Fantastic Five Puts Spurs In Cliché-land
BBM has absolutely no idea what cloud nine is, but the rest of the media is putting Tottenham on top of it so we...
Ferguson Says England Are Shit. Sort Of.
PURPLE-NOSED whinge bag Alex Ferguson has come out and said what all Englishmen already know deep down but don't want to here said by...
Lampard and van Persie Horsing Around The Treatment Room
IN such a power crazed world BBM goes to any length to remain one step ahead of the competition. Our morning routine, for instance,...
Thierry Hand-ry
IT'S blame game time people. So who was at fault for Ireland not qualifying for the World Cup following THAT goal which we surely...
Scotch on the rocks
CRAIG Levein's Macbeth-style rise to the Scottish throne seems assured following the bloody murder of King George Burley. Dundee United boss Levein, who cannot...
Suck 'em and see – you in two months
PART football genius, part blubbering walrus, Diego Maradona, has been banned from football for two months by FIFA following his Fisherman's Friends inspired outburst...
Shocking Crime Scene, Mourilyan
HORSE RACING: It's the race that stops an already work-shy nation. Last week's Melbourne Cup saw Victoria and the ACT take the day off,...