PART football genius, part blubbering walrus, Diego Maradona, has been banned from football for two months by FIFA following his Fisherman’s Friends inspired outbmaradona-suck-dick-t-shirturst last month.

The Argentine blob was punished after his foul-mouthed ‘suck this’ rant at gathered journos following the national side’s crucial 1-0 win over Uruguay.

So what will the two-month ban actually mean? Well he’ll miss a ‘pencilled-in-but-not-quite finalised’ friendly with the Czech Republic and the draw for the World Cup. And that’s it.

Way to put your foot down FIFA!

In a statement, Fifa said they had taken into consideration the “sincere remorse” shown by the Argentina head coach, who had flown from Madrid to Zurich after Argentina’s 2-1 friendly loss to Spain on Saturday.