HORSE RACING: It’s the race that stops an already work-shy nation. Last week’s Melbourne Cup saw Victoria and the ACT take the day off, and people in NSW, WA, QLD, NT and TAS disappear for extended lunch breaks to watch Shocking win the 3200 metre race.
For about 2900 metres, British horse Warringah led the pack, only to fall back into last place. Crime Scene and Shocking emerged from the chasing pack to duke it out in the final few hundred metres before Shocking nosed ahead to claim the AUD$5.5 million prize money.
Last year’s winning horse, Viewed, which was one of the favourites to win again this year despite carrying extra weight, finished seventh.
In second place was Irish horse Crime Scene, trained by Horatio Caine, while Mourilyan, owned by Chechen dictator Ramzan Kadyrov, came in third.

BOXING: For fans of travelling freak shows, the ultimate gypsy caravan might be gathering up all its midgets, bearded ladies, Siamese twins and, of course, Mike Tyson, ready for one more tilt at a massive pay check- sorry, shot at the big time.
Mental Mike – who is so mental that he once served time for rape, bit off Evandor Holyfield’s penis mid fight, and tattooed his face – told Showtime announcer, Jim Gray: “If this guy is going to pay for my training – my training team costs a lot of money – anything is possible. I don’t see it happening, but anything is possible.”
And who do you turn to if you want an unlikely, and ultimately unsuccessful return to the ring? Obviously the man who exploited the fuck out of you when at your peak.
Ladies and gentleman, Don King:
“I think Mike’s one of the greatest fighters that ever lived. I think he can still be a fighter if he wants to be a fighter. Listen, whatever it is between Mike, it ain’t about the bankroll. We gonna do what has to be done … so, whatever we have to do, we’ll do.”
Where’s that calculator…

ATHLETICS: Olympic piker, Paula Radcliffe has lost her New York marathon crown after finishing fourth in this year’s race.
You may remember Radcliffe as the world’s best marathon runner who went to Athens in 2004 and Beijing in 2008 hiding ‘injuries’ from the rest of the Great Britain camp, therefore selfishly taking a precious spot from another Olympic hopeful.
Much like a selfish David Beckham going into Japan/Korea in 2002 not fully fit.
Anyway, the point is that despite her Olympic failures, Radcliffe had proven herself the queen of New York in recent years having won the previous three marathons.
Last week, however, she once again chose to hide an injury – tendonitis this time – so her competitors couldn’t take advantage.
“We thought the risk was going to be the first mile because it’s been bothering me going uphill, so that’s why I didn’t want to say too much because, if other people had legged it the first mile, it could have gone then. I knew I was fit coming in, then at 11 miles it just went.
“For the last miles I was just thinking ‘hang in there’ as long as I could. Just try to stay with them.” Piker


Lord Ferg, 30 October 2009: “It’s a coach’s nightmare, especially if you are in the middle of a European campaign and going for cups and titles. You have all these fixtures and you have the intrusion of a friendly international game in some unknown country [England v Brazil in Qatar next month], so that is a definite thorn in everyone’s flesh.”

Lord Ferg, January 2008: “We have gone away before in mid-season and it has worked well for us. We went to Dubai a couple of years ago and we won the FA Cup at the end of that season. We are delighted to be [in Saudi Arabia] and I just hope that the sun gets even warmer over the next few days! We get back to Manchester on Thursday, so that will give us three days to prepare for the Spurs on the Sunday.”

And Lord Ferg, July 2008: “We’ve never been to Nigeria. It was just an opportunity and you could say it was partly financial of course. We have to take in to consideration the financial invitations because we have a big operation.”

“I left Roma, and I left Real Madrid. If people aren’t happy any more, then I can pack my bags here too. People here have got used to eating Nutella, and maybe every now and then they have to eat shit,” – Antonio Cassano believes critical Sampdoria fans need a more balanced diet.