LIONEL Messi has got his cock out, pushed Cristiano Ronaldo to the floor and then taken a big piss on his face. Metaphorically speaking anyway.

Messi has been crowned European Footballer of the Year by the biggest margin ever after polling 473 votes – more than twice as many as Ronaldo who had 233.

“There’s lots of emotion – the Ballonmessiweb d’Or is very important for me,” gloated Messi after zipping up his fly.
“I know I appeared among the favourites because Barcelona had a profitable year.

“For me it’s a big honour to win – but also to become the first Argentinian in history to receive the trophy.
“I dedicate it to my family, they were always present when I needed them and sometimes felt even stronger emotions than me.”

Manchester United and England striker Shrek Rooney and Chelsea forward Didier Drogba were eighth and ninth.


Liverpool captain Roy of the Rovers completed the top 10.