population-control

The Irish Aren’t Quitters

IN POSSIBLY the most predictable survey of all time, the Irish Government has discovered that 90 percent of all smokers think it would be...
babyherman

sweet child o’ nicot-ine

WE shouldn't laugh. Really. But there are reports from Indonesia of a two-year-old with a 40-cigarrette a day smoking habit. That's not funny, obviously,...
nuclear-explosion

Bank Job Plan Is Dynamite

BUMBLING criminals in Germany took the phrase ‘you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off' to new heights this week - after blowing...
original

Jinxed Number Ups Murder R8

AHH the good old urban myth. They're always gripping, always disturbing and they always end with the words "it happened to a friend of...
Romeo and Juliet

An Execellent Love Market

AS the absence of our left testicle proves, it's not a good idea to arrange a trip to see your ex-girlfriend if your current...
Kate Moss

Kate's Love Hole

A rolling stone might gather no Moss, but a skanky crack-head apparently does. Rock's reigning trash queen Courtney Love has claimed she had a...
Peaches Geldof

Peaches Nips Out

It would appear that Britain's rubbish answer to any of the following: Paris Hilton, any Kardashian, or Kimberley Stewart (you know, people who are...
Kerry Katona

Kerry's got the Painters In

WE don't need another hero!So sang Tina Turner on her 1980s hit smash Nutbush City Limits. And how accurate the be-wigged warbler's words have...
wish_you_were_here_girl

A county too far

AUSSIES wouldn't bat an eyelid at driving a couple of hundred kilometres for a day out, but the British and Irish have a completely...
charlotte church

Over the Strongbow

AT first she was the voice of an angel.That soon degenerated into the mouth of a sailor and it wasn't until she developed the...