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messiweb

Messi clean up

LIONEL Messi has got his cock out, pushed Cristiano Ronaldo to the floor and then taken a big piss on his face. Metaphorically speaking anyway. Messi has been crowned European Footballer of the Year...
henryweb_thumb

33 is the magic number

TEACHEROUS FIFA top dog Sepp Blatter has revealed that the Irish FA requested that the World Cup be expanded to "turty-tree" teams next year after Thierry ‘Wing Attack' Henry picked up the ball, span...
jermain-defoe

Defoe's Fantastic Five Puts Spurs In Cliché-land

BBM has absolutely no idea what cloud nine is, but the rest of the media is putting Tottenham on top of it so we will to. Spurs' 9-1 shellacking of Wigan has got the...
alex ferguson

Ferguson Says England Are Shit. Sort Of.

PURPLE-NOSED whinge bag Alex Ferguson has come out and said what all Englishmen already know deep down but don't want to here said by a miserable hypocritical Scot - namely that England won't win...
van-persie

Lampard and van Persie Horsing Around The Treatment Room

IN such a power crazed world BBM goes to any length to remain one step ahead of the competition. Our morning routine, for instance, is something like this: after downing a fresh glass of...
henryweb

Thierry Hand-ry

IT'S blame game time people. So who was at fault for Ireland not qualifying for the World Cup following THAT goal which we surely don't need to explain to you? Thierry Hand-ry for doing...
flag-of-scotland2

Scotch on the rocks

CRAIG Levein's Macbeth-style rise to the Scottish throne seems assured following the bloody murder of King George Burley. Dundee United boss Levein, who cannot be killed by man of woman borne, has been installed...
maradona-suck-dick-t-shirt

Suck 'em and see – you in two months

PART football genius, part blubbering walrus, Diego Maradona, has been banned from football for two months by FIFA following his Fisherman's Friends inspired outburst last month. The Argentine blob was punished after his foul-mouthed...

Barnes goes R-wandering

MILLIONS dead through genocide. Three quarters of the population living in dire poverty. And just when the people of Rwanda thought things couldn't get any worse, John Barnes has been appointed...