WOODS MASTERS THE ART OF SPIN

SINCE BBM went to print before the final round at Augusta, we've got no idea whether Tiger Woods managed to stop having sex for...
mr_t_blue

SEMENYA FORECAST'S RETURN

THE world's most famous hermaphrodite, Caster Semenya (left), is set to return to competitive action in Spain on 24 June. Semenya hasn't raced since...
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Jose Mourinho

HEY! When the bejaysus did England stop being THE force in European club football?No sooner have Liverpool been laughed out of the all-important Not-really-champions...
Havana

Pete’s Agass-t at verbal volley

Despite both players having retired years ago, the rivalry between Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi was turned up a notch last year with the...

Horny Tiger Woods

GET ready for the media circus of the year. Tiger "sex addict" Woods has announced his return to golf will come at the 2010...
Racing pigeon

Cuckoo's Nest Tyson

"WE got no food, no jobs... our PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"The decapitation of avian species, it would seem, has long galvanised us humans...
martin

Mart Unhappy With Lengthy Fourplay

AT the time of going to press, Aston Villa are unbeaten in the league in 2010, have games in hand on their nearest rivals...
elephant-man-free6

Iain Dowie as Hull manager

THERE'S no doubt that Phil Browny-orangecolour did a terrific job at Hull City. Unfortunately, that job ended about a year ago. Since then he's...
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No Way Beck

SAY what you like about nasal-voiced poncey twat David Beckham, he gives it his all for England.Unfortunately, his ‘all' these days generally means wheezing...

Arry has a brazilian

IN the age of transfer windows and loan restrictions, it's ‘Arry Redknapp who we feel most sorry for.A week in football just isn't the...