WOODS MASTERS THE ART OF SPIN

SINCE BBM went to print before the final round at Augusta, we’ve got no idea whether Tiger Woods managed to stop having sex for long enough to win his fifth Masters title.
What we do know, however, is that he’s still very, very sorry for being found out.
“The fact I won golf tournaments is irrelevant and unimportant compared to all the damage I’ve done,” he said last week at a special press conference to which only specially accredited journalist’s were invited (BBM was too busy to attend).
“I hurt so many people close to me and I lied to myself – it’s pretty brutal. I take full responsibility for what I have done.”
Woods also said he wouldn’t act like such a twat when on the golf course.
“I’m going to try to not to get as hot, but that means I won’t be as exuberant,” he said in his trademark, non-exuberant monotone.
“I made a decision to try and tone down my negative outbursts and be more respectful of the game.”