No Way Beck

SAY what you like about nasal-voiced poncey twat David Beckham, he gives it his all for England.
Unfortunately, his ‘all’ these days generally means wheezing his guts up as he chases left-backs up and down the pitch while occasionally whipping in a decent free-kick.
For those of you haven’t heard, or have heard but don’t really care, Oldenballs has knacked his Achilles and is out of England’s World Cup squad.
Apparently Becks is devastated that his dream of lifting the World Cup is over – although technically that dream was over the day he was born in England.
But it’s not all bad news for the publicity shy midfielder.
Apparently he’s been offered a small fortune in cash, tropical islands and lithe nubial middle-eastern princesses to work as a pundit for several TV stations.
BBC, ITV and ESPN all want Becks on their sofas for the finals and, although he’s a whiney voiced idiot who never says anything of interest, he’s still got to be better than Jamie Redknapp or Andy Townshend.