Joke 1

WELCOME back to The Alzheimer’s information web page.
Please enter your 16 digit password.
Richard, Edgecliff

Joke 2

PEOPLE often ask me why I wanted to be a film editor.
Well, to cut a long story short…
Michelle, Ultimo

Joke 3

WHEN I was a kid my dad told me “I’m fucking sick of getting socks for my
“You ungrateful bastard!” I replied. “It’s the thought that counts!”
I could tell from the look in his eyes he’d have kicked my head in.
If he’d had legs.
Phil, Hobart

Joke 4

DEAR Walkers Crisps,
Your crisps are really tasty. When will you be making a full bag?
Zoe, Waterloo

Joke 5

PREDICTIVE text is for aunts.
Olivia, St Kilda

Joke 6

I JUST saw a beautiful girl with a massive gut walk into a gym.
What a waist.
Keith, Coogee

Joke 7

ASTROLOGY: because millions of planets and stars have spent billions of
years lining themselves up just to let her know that she’ll “meet someone with
nice eyes” this week.
Lenny, Alice Springs

Joke 8

I HAD a shepherd’s pie for dinner yesterday.
He wasn’t very happy about it.
Caroline, Gold Coast

Joke 9

SOME say that footballers deserve their ludicrous wages, others say that
soldiers deserve the money instead.
It really makes you think, isn’t there some way people who pass their GCSEs
could have it?
Ben, Bondi