Jokes

From the best unhinged jokes to the worst dad jokes, we’ve got you covered.

  • It’s a 5 minuet walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minuet walk from the bar to my house.
  • “I love your Aussie accent, say that again.”… “Yeahh nah your a fucken shit cunt aye”
  • Will glass coffins ever be popular?.. Remains to be seen.
  • I found $20 in a car park and thought to my self “what would Jesus do?” So I turned it into wine.
  • My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post to many bird puns. Well, Toucan play at that game.
  •  I told my psychologist I am scared of living in tall buildings… He said that’s just my apartment complex.
  • If you were born in September, it’s safe to assume that your parents started the new year off with a bang.
  • “I just got my doctor’s test results back and I’m really upset about it. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.”
  •  What’s the difference between a gay man and a freezer? ‘The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out’
  • What did one traffic light say to the other? “look away I’m changing.”
  • Grandpa, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I said, “No your generation does.” Unpluggs life support.
  • What tea is hard to swallow? ‘Reali-tea’
  • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? “I don’t know but the flag is a big plus
  • How does a Rabbi make his coffee? ‘Hebrews it’.
  • What do you call a woman with big tits a fat ass and beautiful hair? “I don’t know but can I get her number?”
  • What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? ‘Wrong.’
  • What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?.. ‘Rrrrrrrrrr’
  • What’s that sexuality called when you are attracted to men but their not attracted to you?
  • What did the suicidal man say before jumping off the roof? “Let’s hit the road!”
  • Helen walks into a bar, ‘then a table then a chair.’
  • What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? ‘he wiped his ass’
  • The difference between like and love is spit and swallow.

Best Unhinged Jokes for a good laugh while you stare aimlessly into the internet.

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