arny jokes

“How to solve Africa’s Contaminated Water Problem”.
They should just do what the Australians do. Bottle it up and sell it in England as lager.… Paul, Beach Rad

1st Eskimo: Where did your mother come from?
2nd Eskimo: Alaska
1st Eskimo: Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself! James, from Space

An aged couple are in bed making love. “Careful,” says the old girl, “I’ve got acute angina.”
“That’s good,” gasps the old geezer, “‘Cause your tits are knackered.” Richy, Foresters

Q. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???……
A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face. Colin, Cock n Bull

Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales;
Lloysthwycyyrigridarbrewwthh… sorry there was a hair in my mouth.
I went to Swansea. John, Bondi

Off to the hospital with the pregnant wife tomorrow for the twelve week scan.
I can’t wait to see what we’re having, a boy or an abortion. Darren, Bolton

Emile Heskey (England) 59 caps, 7 goals.
Rene Higuita (Colombia) 68 caps, 8 goals.
Jose Luis Chilavert (Paraguay) 74 caps, 8 goals.

Unlucky Emile, the other two are goalkeepers… Dan, Newcastle

I was ramming this little girl up the arse the other day.
“Oi, any more of that and you’re off the dodgems,” shouted the fairground owner. Michelle, The Colombian