whats pink and hard??
A pig with a flick knife

This man pulls up in his Merc beside a little boy. ??He opens the door, holds out a brown paper bag of sweets and says, “Hey kid, if I give you a sweetie, will you come in my car.” ??To which the kid replies, “Gimme the bag and I’ll come in your mouth!”

Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Murder in South Hampton:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
Don’t ask her out again.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
Clever Dick

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.

A woman had just given birth to her twelfth baby when her doctor says,
“You’ve just had your twelfth baby Miss. What are you going to name this one?”
“But you named the last eleven Joe”
“Yeah its great. I say Joe go clean the room, they all go clean their room. I say Joe come for dinner, they all come for dinner.”
“But what if you only want one of them?”

“Oh! Then I call them by their last name.”

What is foreplay?

The loving before the shoving.
The petting before the getting.
The licking before the pricking.
The stroking before the poking.
The lingering and the fingering.
Unnecessary with barn animals.

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