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At BBM we were all truly devastated to hear the news that Gwyneth Paltrow had split from Coldplay front man Chris Martin and to mask our despair we’ve looked at the funny side of it all (there was a lot). We can only hope that these jokes from comedians and quotes from the lady herself will get you through the pain and heartbreak after hearing the terrible news. Enjoy!
“Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin to Separate after Gwyneth finally hears new Coldplay single.” By: absrdNews
“I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a -Soup.” Gwyneth Paltrow
“Gwyneth Paltrow blasted for hawking baby bikinis on her website Goop. To be fair, they’re the only ones that fit her. Goop is all she eats.” By: Warren Holstein
“I’m not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it’s incredibly delicious.” Gwyneth Paltrow
“It’s the kid’s fault. Moses parted Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.” By: Adam Nover
“If the name of your blog wasn’t Goop, what would it be?” Interviewer
“Ummmmm……. Spoiledwhiterichgirl.com” Gwyneth Paltrow
“GwynethPaltrow strips in an upcoming movie. She’ll remove everything, except, unfortunately, her ability to speak.” By Erik Bransteen
“I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.” Gwyneth Paltrow
“Think I hit rock bottom. Just bumped into Gwyneth Paltrow’s singing career.” By; Rob Warden
“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.” Gwyneth Paltrow