I WAS watching a trial in court from the public gallery the other day and a German guy was on trial for speeding. The
judge called him up to the stand and asked him, “What is your name?” But the German guy just looked at him blankly and
replied, “No English.”
“Does anyone here speak German?” the Judge asked. I put up my hand. “OK, translate what I say: ‘What is your name and
where are you from?'”
I shouted: “Vot is your name and vere are you from?”
I received a £50 fine and got banned from the courthouse. Totally worth it. Alex, Potts Point
RICK Astley asked me if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films.
“Okay,” I said. “You can have Toy Story , Cars and Finding Nemo but I’m never gonna give you Up .” Laura, Bondi.
MY wife sent me a card saying “Get better soon” today.
I’m not ill, I’m just crap at sex. Phil, Hunter Valley.
PEOPLE call me Mr Compromise.
It wasn’t my first choice for a nickname, but I can live with it. Iver, Bankstown.
MOST popular iPhone App of the month:
Public Telephone Box Locator. Natasha, St. Kilda.
“KIDNAPPING” is a strong word. I prefer to think of it as “surprise adoption.” Tony, Randwick.
MY wife text me after a row to say I was very condescending.
To be honest I was surprised she could spell it. Lenny, Ipswich
ON Yahoo answers I saw: ‘What would Jesus do if he were an American citizen today?’
So I wrote…
…Perform the miracle of feeding FIVE people with only 5,000 Loaves and Fishes.