Q: WHAT do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?
A: Banned from the petting zoo.
John, Bondi
Q: WHY did the sperm cross the road?
A: Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk.
Alex, Potts Point
MY WIFE keeps complaining that I wear socks when we have sex.
I suppose a condom would be better.
Keith, Hunter Valley
MY BRIDE looked absolutely beautiful standing at the altar with a tear running down her cheek.
Apparently.
Rich, Sydney
Q: HOW many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I have no idea either. I did hire four prostitutes once but we did other stuff.
Sid, St Kilda
SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001, a day I will never ever forget
We beat Walsall 4-3 in extra time in the second round of the League Cup.
Tony, Birmingham
“SARCASM is the lowest form of wit,” – Oscar Wilde.
Actually, it’s the second lowest. The lowest form of wit is quoting this line with a stupid, smug grin on your face whenever you can’t think of a response yourself.
Ferg, Randwick
I SHAGGED the missus last night but instead of a traditional condom I used a frog skin. I thought I’d ribbit for her pleasure.
Lenny, Ipswich
PEOPLE learn from history.
Which is why you should always delete it.
Jamie, Coogee
A MAN walked into a tattoo shop.
“Good afternoon sir, what can we do for you?”
“Well, I’m really passionate about my home town, and want something done on my knuckles, you know?”
“No problem sir, what did you want exactly?”
“N-O-R-W-I-C-H on this hand, and C-I-T-Y-F-C on this one.”
Tim, Parramatta
TEENAGERS on 50cc mopeds,
South London’s answer to vuvuzelas.
Jonny, South London
SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001, a day I will never ever forget
We beat Walsall 4-3 in extra time in the second round of the League Cup .
Jonny, South London
