Ron Does One

Ronaldo – not that one, the fat one – has retired from football aged 34. The three-time world player of the year had planned...

Pass the Dutchy

ARSENE Wenger’s child-catching crown could be taken by Chelsea following a Dutch FA investigation into the Blues’ £670,000 swoop for 15-year-old Feyenoord wunderkind...

Jordan Conflict Escalates

The ugly after-match spat at the San Siro between Gennaro “chopper” Gattuso and Joe Jordan, which left the Spurs assistant coach sporting an ugly...

Hugh’s the daddy at WBA?

Chris Hughton’s otherwise good reputation is set to be ruined with the BBC claiming he’s close to taking over the West Brom job. But...

He wants Mour

He’s not even at the club these days, but Emmanuel Adebayor continues to be a thorn in the side of Man City boss Roberto...

Terry’s totaliser

According to that bastion of moral values The Sun, friend-shafting John Terry has quit gambling after risking colossal fortunes at the bookies. The...

Cushy Kuqi coup

Fair play to Alan Pardew for sticking to his guns following the £35million sale of star striker Andy Carroll to Liverpool. At the...

Owls of Derision

CHAIRMAN Milan Mandaric has given downtrodden Sheffield Wednesday fans one more thing to worry about after saying he’d be interested in appointing Gary Megson as...

Emman’s the Man

BIG club hop-about Emmanuel Adebayor said he was delighted after making a goal scoring home debut in Real Madrid's 2-0 Spanish Cup semi-final win over...

An El of a Greeting

RANGERS manager Walter Smith has defended new signing and all-round c*nt El Hadji Diouf after his side’s 1-0 win over Hearts. Rangers fans welcomed...