Two old women were sitting on a park bench.
A man wearing a trench coat walks up and flashes them.
One of the old women immediately had a stroke.
The other old woman couldn’t reach.
Evie, Melbourne

A little boy says to his mother, “Mommy, I have diarrhea can I have a Viagra?”
Mother replies, “What?!”
Boy says, “I have diarrhoea, can I take a Viagra?”
Mother replies, “You have diarrhoea? Why would you want a Viagra??!”
Boy says, “Well, isn’t that what you give daddy to make his shit hard?”
Megan, Sydney

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
Liam, Richmond

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really
paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, “I’m not happy.”
I replied, “Well, which one are you then?”
Sophie, Fremantle

I took a girl back to my house for sex last night.
After going upstairs, I slowly removed my clothes and climbed under the quilt.
“You’ll have to be really quiet,” I whispered, “My mum & dad are asleep.”
“I can see that,” she said, “Have you not got your own bed?”
Lorna, Geelong

A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.
“Morning!” he said.
The other man replies, “No, just having a shit.”
Laura, Newcastle

What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
Joe, Cairns

 

Image Source: Snow White (1937)