– I saw Usain Bolt running for a bus this morning, but the driver pulled away before he got there.
It was fine though, he just got on at the next stop. James, Manly
– I got home from work today to find that my wife had done a runner.
Fuck knows what Usain Bolt saw in her. Tom, Greenwich
– It must be so shit being a Police officer in Jamaica.
“Ok, we have never caught anybody. Ever.” Alice, Newcastle
– Having sex for me is a lot like the way Usain Bolt runs the 100m.
I spend 10 seconds doing it and then 10 minutes celebrating. Taylor, Sydney
– What does Katie Price have in common with Usain Bolt?
False tart. Lawrie, Adelaide
– Yeah so what if Usain Bolt did the 200m in 19.4 seconds, my Brother can do it in 16 seconds and he’s in a wheelchair.
The key is to find a giant Fuck-off hill. Lewis, Melbourne
– Usain Bolts celebration mimics a lightning bolt, because he’s fast and his second name is bolt.
Which then makes you wonder, what Tyson Gays celebration would be. Adam, London
– Usain Bolt has been knocked down by a hit-and-run driver in London.
Police are making enquiries about a white Sprinter that was seen in the area. Jason, Birmingham
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