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Usain Bolt– I saw Usain Bolt running for a bus this morning, but the driver pulled away before he got there.

It was fine though, he just got on at the next stop. James, Manly

 

– I got home from work today to find that my wife had done a runner.

Fuck knows what Usain Bolt saw in her. Tom, Greenwich

 

– It must be so shit being a Police officer in Jamaica.

“Ok, we have never caught anybody. Ever.” Alice, Newcastle

 

– Having sex for me is a lot like the way Usain Bolt runs the 100m.

I spend 10 seconds doing it and then 10 minutes celebrating. Taylor, Sydney

 

– What does Katie Price have in common with Usain Bolt?

False tart. Lawrie, Adelaide

 

– Yeah so what if Usain Bolt did the 200m in 19.4 seconds, my Brother can do it in 16 seconds and he’s in a wheelchair.
The key is to find a giant Fuck-off hill. Lewis, Melbourne

 

– Usain Bolts celebration mimics a lightning bolt, because he’s fast and his second name is bolt.

Which then makes you wonder, what Tyson Gays celebration would be. Adam, London

 

– Usain Bolt has been knocked down by a hit-and-run driver in London.
Police are making enquiries about a white Sprinter that was seen in the area. Jason, Birmingham

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