It’s February, which means one thing. Every couple (or at least those that can be arsed) is getting ready to spend one day to show their partner how much they mean to them. While everyone else gets loved up and strips down, spare a thought for us singletons at BBM as we spend February 14th watching repeats of Family Guy in our pants. It’s not all doom and gloom – Valentine’s Day does produce some cracking jokes…

My girlfriend said she doesn’t want much for Valentine’s Day.
“Just some chocolates and a few little surprises”, she said.
Kinder Eggs it is then.
John, London

For the past 20 years, I’ve received a Valentine’s Day card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn’t get one this year.
First my granny dies, now this.
Jen, Newcastle

I got a Valentine’s Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous!
We stopped having sex years ago.
Dave, Dublin

Valentine’s Day at Wetherspoons. Because sometimes your special someone isn’t that special.
Jonathan, Edinburgh

For Valentine’s Day, Kim Kardashian’s bought Kanye a chocolate mould of her arse. It should last him ‘til next Valentine’s Day.
Sam, Perth

It’s a bad Valentine’s Day when the lamppost by the pub gets more flowers and cards than you do.
Harry, Townsville