The 25 Worst Lyrics from Robin Thicke’s ‘PAULA’

So while we gave the new Robin Thicke ‘PAULA’ album a fairer review than basically everyone else, we couldn’t help but notice that there are some…choice lyrics from old Rob. And by ‘choice’, we mean awful, sexual assault-y, toe-curling drivel. So we collated the top 25, in no particular order (because they’re all as bad as each other). See if you can spot a trend…
“Ooh baby I gotta feeling we were lovers in a previous life” – probs weren’t
“Your legs are on my walls, your body’s on my ceilings” – did you murder Paula?
“I never should’ve asked you to do anything at all” – like listen to/purchase your album? We agree
“All that she wants is someone who doesn’t hurt” – ooh bit rapey, Rob
“I should have held you stronger” – a lot rapey, Rob
“At least open the doggy door” – NO MEANS NO, ROB, YOU’RE NOT COMING IN
“I’m livin’ in New York City and it’s livin’ in me” – umm ok?
“I’m livin’ in New York City where everybody’s livin’ and everybody’s winnin’” – what?
“Now that the monkey on your back is gone” – how many drugs are you on?
“You’re way too young to dance like that in front of a man like me, babe” – RAPEY
“Forever mine” – VERY RAPEY
“Y’know cigarettes are bad for you, baby, and so am I” – someone has probably described Robin as musical cancer before…
“With your new nails on my back, you’ll be scratchin’ & scratchin’ my itch” – clawing to get away from your rapey clutches, more like
“You were lying in bed, said you took 20 pills, now I’m calling the ambulance, police, I’m freaking out ‘til you say “chill, baby I didn’t take them pills, I’m just desperately crying for help” – if anything will get Paula back, it’s revealing that you made her attempt suicide! Nice one, Rob!
“I was licking your wounds” – literally everything you say sounds rapey, how have you not been arrested?
“One hand always misbehaves” – like in the below illustrative image, Rob?

“Every time you walked through that door, I shoulda bought white roses, good and plenty, and rubbed your toesies” – no, just no to rhyming ‘roses’ with ‘toesies’ no no gross
“Should’ve waited patient, thanked ya, spanked ya” – why couldn’t you just stop at ‘thanked ya’? Why does it always come back to sex with you, Robin?
“She’s a feather from a dove and a gust of wind” – umm…how romantic?
“Vanity’s my only friend” – Bet you get along like a house on fire…
“Take a leap of faith and, baby, land in my bed, But don’t you be surprised if I end up messing up your head” – RAPE
“A bird flew in the window, took a picture and left with a naughty Tweet” – actual LOL, what a preposterous lyric
“I know you wanna fly so baby open up your wings, Then I’ll walk out with your legs shaking, while you’re screaming, ‘Robin, please!’” – HOW FAMILIAR ARE YOU WITH THE WORD ‘CONSENT’? #rape
“I’m in pieces of a puzzle” – Just…shut up
“With me, you wanna do things for the very first time” – raaaaaaaape