Superman was flying around one day and was feeling a bit horny. So he found Batman stood on top of a building and dropeds down to ask him where the best place to get laid was.
Batman proceeded to tell him that Wonder Woman is a great lay. Superman then tells him that he couldn’t do that to her because they have been friends for too long and he flies away.
Superman then sees Spider-man swinging around and flies next to him while he’s swinging and asks him who the best piece of ass is. Spider-man tells him that he hears Wonder Woman is good and tells him to look her up.
Disgruntled Superman takes to the air and flies about.
He then notices Wonder Woman lying in a field naked and spread-eagle.
He thinks “I’m faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of that so fast she’ll never know what hit her.” So he flies down does his business and in 4 seconds he’s back in the air flying away.
Wonder Woman looks up and says “What was that?”
The Invisible Man says: “I don’t know but my ass hurts like hell!”
Q: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: None. They like the dark night.
Why does Aquaman’s wife wear a seashell brassiere?
She’s too big for B-shells and too small for D-shells!
Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. “Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Robin replies, ” I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Batman?”
Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks: ” Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.”
Q: Why did the Flash leave that greasy diner so quickly? A: Because he got a bad case of the runs!
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