seanjokeSean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite his 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Kylie Minogue, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Kyle said, “Sean, if I am not being too forward, I’d love to have sex with an older man. Let’s go back to my place.”
So they go back to her place and have great sex. Afterwards, Sean says, “If you think that was good, let me sleep for half an hour, and we can have even better sex. But while I’m sleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and my dick in your right hand.” Kylie looks a bit perplexed, but says, “Okay”. He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex. Then Sean says, “Kylie, that was wonderful. But if you let me sleep for an hour, we can have the best sex yet. But again, hold my balls in your left hand, and my Dick in your right hand.” Kylie is now used to the routine and complies. The results are mind blowing.
Once it’s all over, and the cigarettes are lit, Kylie asks “Sean, tell me, does my holding your balls in my left hand and your dick in my right stimulate you while you’re sleeping?” Sean replies, “No, but the last time I slept with a slut from Melbourne, she stole my wallet.”

Sean Connery’s agent calls him up. “Sean Baby, I’m so sorry to call you when your on holiday but I’ve got a crackerjack offer for you, you can’t miss this. I’ve set up an audition for you at the studio in LA, just be there for tennish.”
“Tennish?” says Sean. “But I don’t have a racket.”

I heard Sean Connery had a bad time as a parent…
His problems started every time he told his kids to sit on the naughty step.

Sean Connery let the dogs out. He then forced them back in with an intense raised eyebrow and later pistol whipped all of the Baha Men for questioning him.

Sean Connery was once attacked by Chuck Norris. Sean Connery gave him three things. His autograph, calling card, and personal advice. All three were bullets to the head.