Hobbling out of Pizza Hut, I realised that the 11″ Italian for £5 was NOT as expected. Paul, Bondi
I love Smirnoff Vodka but I’m shit scared to buy a bottle of it.
What if I actually do win tickets to a Madonna concert? Mike, Surry Hills
What’s the difference between Peter Andre and Abu Qatada?
Peter won’t be going back to Jordan. Ali, Greenwich
I’ve just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom … It makes the wife look like she’s moving during sex. Malcolm, Paddington
Never masturbate just before going to sleep.
It keeps you up. Ben, St Kilda
When life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic. Sarah, Richmond
Hey, I just fucked you, and this is crazy, but delete my number, and keep the baby! Sam, Kings Cross
