• Rupert Murdoch walks into a bar.
The barman says, “Don’t worry about it mate, we haven’t got Sky either.”
• A custard pie has been thrown at Rupert Murdoch on live TV. Apparently, the clown prosecution service will be investigating.
•‘’Rupert Murdoch gets a creampie”.
That’s one search term I’ll never put in to RedTube.
• That’s very inconsiderate of Rupert Murdoch to close down the News of the World.
What’s my cat supposed to crap on now?
• The last front page of the final News of the World reads: “Thank you and goodbye.”
Rubbish. I’d have gone with: “You have no new messages.”
• The News of the World claim to be number 1 for news, yet there was a massive story about phone hacking week and they didn’t even bother to cover it.
• I want to make a complaint to the News of the World, but I don’t know how.
So I’m just going to leave them a message on my voicemail.
• David Cameron is a neighbour of Rebekah Brooks. He didn’t realise, for ages he thought it was a fox going through his bins.
