jokes 627It’s Google’s birthday?
Yahoo! Ed, Twickenham

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12. Tommy, Bondi

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud
Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson. Lisa, Darlinghurst

What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?
A clit around the ear and a flap across the face. Jeff, Greenwich

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”
She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”. Bret, Paddington

I got into an argument with my girlfriend. She said, “You treat this house like a hotel.”
I said, “I have NEVER snorted cocaine off a hooker’s tits in this house.” Simon, Surry Hills

A friend of mine got caught stealing Yoga dvd’s. He ended up doing a long stretch.
A friend of mine got caught stealing Yoda dvd’s. A long stretch doing ended up he. Theresa, Notting Hill

When I was 15 I was on the sex offenders’ register.
Or ‘Mr. Jones’ as we called him in class. Terry, Chingford

Why dont blind men skydive??A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog. Mike, Guilford