jokes from issue 613 of bbm magazineDOCTOR, Doctor I’ve got rotten teeth, bad breath and smelly feet.

Sounds like you’ve got Foot and Mouth disease!       Peter, The Darlo

TWO deaf lesbians are walking down the road with their hands in each others knickers…

What are they doing?         Lip reading.     Mark, Also in the Darlo

DOCTOR Doctor I feel like biscuits! 
What, you mean those square ones?


The ones you put butter on?


Well, that means you’re crackers! Andrew, Pig n Whistle

WHY did the bus stop? Because it saw the zebra crossing. Jimmy, The Porterhouse

HEY, Noah, do you want a drink?
Noah don’t. Richard, Rosie O’Gradey’s 

DID you hear about the Scotsman who washed his kilt?
He couldn’t do a fling with it. Joe, Manly

HAVE you ever wondered if one of the notes in your wallet was ever in a stripper’s butt crack? Jimmy, Lost

Q. When is a Fairy not a Fairy? ?A. When she has her mouth round a Pixie’s dick then she’s a Goblin!!! Jack, Tea Garden’s

STEVEN Hawkins goes on a date, the first in over ten years.
He arrives back from his date with a broken wrist, broken ankle, and scuffed knees. 
Apparently she stood him up.’ Ted, Cock n Bull

Q. Why have Welsh farmers begun to wear kilts? 
A. Welsh sheep now recognise the sound of a zip. Chloe, Lucky Coq

Tampax are going down the street, Maxi, Slim, and Ultra 
Which one says “Hello” ? Mike, Bridie O’Reilleys

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. ?”Mum”, he asked, “are these my brains?” ?”Not yet,” she replied, Jill, Beach Rd

ROSES are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m using my hand,
But I’m thinking of you. Paul, The Outback