kangaroo golf

Mr G. Melbourne (Kentish Town ex-pat)


Why don’t gingers play hide and seek on Friday the 13th?
No one would look for them. Gav, Elizabeth bay

Why was the washing machine laughing?
Because it was taking the piss out the underpants.
Peter, Dubai

“You won’t like me when I’m angry.

Because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources.”

The Credible Hulk.

My wife has just said to me “How about you dress up in that mask again, you know, like you did a few weeks ago, pretending you broke into the house?” Freddy

Love is like a fart.

If you have to force it….it’s probably shit. Chris, Bondi

I Googled “Gary Oldman” and got some pretty disturbing images – he’s really let himself go, I thought.

Then I realised I’d left the “R” out. Pat, Dublin

I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night.

He told me to fuck off and buy my own. Yasmin, Liverpool

My boss came up to me at work today and said “Dave i’m not sure this company could survive without you,
but as from monday we are going find out.”. Jeff, Freo

What Do you call a cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho Cheese! Mary, Bega

Fat girl: Doctor, I beg of you,
Please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight.
My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present,
And I can’t get into it.
Doctor: Just come over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescription.
Then you will soon be able to wear your wonderful new dress.
Lady: Who said anything about a dress? I am talking about a car. Beth, rather not say

Whats the Difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather.
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken… Ben, Cairns

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks “What are you dressed as?”
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I’ll cum as fast as I can. Sam, Darlinghurst

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