Andy Murray has not done it again, but did we honestly think a British, sorry I mean Scottish, person could actually win Wimbledon? No, right? Well anyway considering he didn’t win it’s now time to ridicule him in the most British of fashions. Perhaps if he had won then he wouldn’t be this months punchline. Better luck next time Andy.
Here are some of BBM’s favourite Murray jokes, enjoy!
“What’s the difference between Gary Glitter and Andy Murray?
One fucks up minors, the other fucks up majors.” – Jo, Perth
“Andy Murray called me up last night. He sounded upset and said,
“Look, I’m trying my best here. How do I make sure I make it to next years Wimbledon final?
“Ticketmaster,” I replied.” – Hayley, Fitzroy
“Murray reaches first semi on clay”- BBC Sport.
It makes me sad when the press report on public figures and their sex lives…” – Bill, Newtown
“Considering Andy Murray is a wanker, he’s shit at playing with his balls! – Barry, Woolongong
“I often laugh openly at Catholics and question how somebody can have such blind faith in something but be constantly disappointed with nothing to show for it.
Anyway, I’m off to watch Andy Murray play tennis.” – Alex, Bondi
“My neighbour popped his head over the fence, “I see you’re building a boat. Expecting floods?” he laughed.
“Indeed I am,” I replied.
“You don’t believe all this 2012 apocalyptic shit do you?”
“No, but Andy Murray is bound to lose another big match.” – Myles, Richmond
“For sale: Large assortment of tennis equipment
All enquiries to A.Murray” – Frank, Kings Cross
“My mate met me and the wife after we’d had a new baby.
Looking down into the pram he said, “He’s a bonny lad. What’s his name?”
“Andy Murray”, I said.
“Oh!” He laughed. “Because you think he’s going to be good at tennis?”
“No, because he keeps losing his bottle.” – Christian, St Kilda
“Allegedly, the humility and emotion Andy Murray showed after his loss in the Wimbledon final could be set to earn him millions in new sponsorship deals.
Amongst the interested companies are Huggies, Tampax and Kleenex” – John, Darlinghurs
“I just cant understand why Andy Murray never smiles, he’s one of the worlds best sportsmen. Then I remembered, he’s Scottish and ginger.”
“After losing in the final at Wimbledon, Andy Murry travelled home by train, on the Crying Scotsman.” – Robert, St Kilda
“Andy Murray’s speech after the men’s final put a lump in my throat.
It’s my own fault for eating and laughing at the same time.” – Ryan, Paddington
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