We hope you’re glad that we bring you such hard-hitting news from the UK each week, as surely it leaves you with a sense of being well-informed and up to date with current affairs. So without further ado, here are some more gems of wisdom from the forefront of UK journalism at its best. We know we told you about that leopard attack on that man in South Africa as he was on his merry little way to work last week, but we in the UK have far more dangerous wildlife to contend with on a daily basis, it would appear. Our harrowing lifestyles on our rainy little isle are put in danger every day by Seagulls. Yes that’s right, the winged beast that swoops form the blue, that can cause severe delays to train services is at it again. Well that was the case for the driver of the 8.15am train service from Hastings to London as he walked down the station platform, only to have a seagull attack his head. Apparently the avian assault resulted in people being late for work, and pissing themselves when the train driver explained over the tannoy what had happened. True story, a spokesman for Southeastern Trains said that while seagull attacks are rare, they can be very dangerous. And apparently they’re even having Seagull issues in Birmingham, where locals are also having problems with brazen birds swooping down on people’s heads and stealing food from their hands. We now know that Hitchcock had a point.