THERE’S a great new game taking the nation by storm in the UK this week. It shits all over Deal Or No Deal, waves its cock in the face of Who Wants To Be A Millionairre?, and violently spurts jizz up the anus of The Weakest Link.

It’s called Guess Which Major Celebrity Is A Filthy Bastard?, following reports in the national press of a famous married TV star who has won a gagging order barring a single mum from revealing his name to the public after they had phone sex.

A judge said the pair also exchanged “intimate images” on emails during an 11-month “virtual relationship” during a marital blip with the star’s wife. And on two occasions in April 2009 he made brief visits to the home of the woman, who is on disability benefit and had mental health problems. In other words, he’s fucked a mentalist.

Judge Eady said: “Her participation in the explicit exchanges was not only willing but enthusiastic. She enjoyed sexually explicit and provocative exchanges, with him and others on the internet.”

A mad dirty bitch who’s up for anything? Forget the celeb, can someone reveal the woman’s identity instead? Preferably with an email and mobile number.