Because March is all about St Patrick’s Day and we just can’t wait for the celebrations, here are some festive jokes all about our favourite green day from our amazing readers!
What’s the difference between God and Bono?
God doesn’t wander around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.
Ciaran, Surry Hills
Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
Paddy says, “Are you on foot or in the car?”
Billy says, “In the car.”
Paddy says, “That’s the quickest way.”
Ian, Northbridge
The drunk rang Dublin airport and inquired: “How long does it take to fly to New York from Dublin?”
“Just a second,” said the receptionist.
“Thank you,’ said the drunk and replaced the phone.
Mickey, Adelaide
An Irishman walks into a pub and orders dozens of martinis, removing the olives, placing them in a jar, and drinking the martinis. When the jar is filled with olives and all the martinis drank, he starts to leave. The bartender stops him and asks, “Excuse me but, what was that all about?”
The Irishman replies, “My wife sent me out for a jar of olives.”
Michael, Margaret River
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four girlfriends drinking on St Patrick’s Day!
Laura, Surry Hills
Why do leprechauns giggle when they play soccer? ‘Cause the grass tickles their balls.
Sean, Townsville