spagettiA happy family is something we all dream of right? Well now you too can have it if you follow the outcomes of a survey taken by the ‘People’s Census’ when they interviewed 2000 British families. “We looked at the bare bones of peoples’ everyday behaviour…” stated Mary Turner [Alert Me Colleague- a home energy management service who provided the survey] This was all done because “The government census is quite run-of-the-mill,” to put it in her own words. And guess what folks, having the perfect family life will almost certainly result in suicide or having affairs if you had to stick to the below list. We’d rather the kids roamed freely in their nappies from front garden to front garden playing with the neighbours kids whilst we (the adults) slowly get pissed chatting on the door step with like minded neighbours, ignoring the loserish ones who sound like they took part in the survey. Dorks.


Get up: 6.57am
Car: Silver Ford Focus
Number of cars: 1.5
House: Semi-detached on a main street
Holiday: 2 x 10 days in the UK
Evening meals together: 3 per week at 5.50pm
Weekly shop: £76.02
Weekly alcohol bill: £12
Entertainment i.e. DVD’s: £15
Best entertainment: Watching TV
Favourite TV show: Dr Who
Time spent watching TV: 9 hours per day
Nights out with friends: 2 per month
Nights out as a couple: ‘Every few months’
Big family outing: Once a month
Get home from work: 5.15pm
Go to bed: 10.39pm
Arguments: 1.6 per week
Savings: £3,280
Mortgage: 53% have a mortgage and have paid off 32 per cent
Cash in wallet/purse: £10.31
Neighbours: Two that we speak to
Exercise: Two and half times a week
Home improvements: £559 in the last year
Wider family: Once a week gathering
Quality time together: Two hours per week
Breakfast : Eats breakfast twice a week as a family
Laundry: 5.3 loads per week
Chores: 4 hours and 24 minutes every week – mum does the majority
Happiness: 80 per cent class themselves as ‘happy’
Wellbeing: 70 per cent claim they are ‘normal’] Taken from