A daft pervert in Burnley recently broke the three golden rules we just made up when it comes to shagging your own dog.
The first rule, of course, is don’t shag your own dog. It’s disgusting. The second rule is, if you do shag your own dog, do not go down the pub, get drunk and tell all your mates you just shagged your own dog. And the third rule is, once you get thrown out of the pub for your bestial bragging, under no circumstances allow yourself to be filmed arguing in the middle of the street with a deranged woman about the fact that you shagged your dog.
Sadly, the unnamed bloke at the centre of the dog-shagging scandal failed to heed any of this advice and the footage has now gone viral – which is possibly what’s happened to his penis too.
Lancashire local Alistair Eccles, who saw the whole thing, said the couple “didn’t seem to care” who heard their weird argument.
“There were at least a dozen people on the street but these two didn’t seem bothered,” he shrugged.