Apparently having Robert Mugabe come out in support of David Cameron on the eve of election night really upped the anti, probably because people feared they’d be killed if they didn’t fly a flag for the blues. Well it seemed to work nonetheless as the fascist right wing party won a disappointing 291 seats, as opposed to Labour’s 248 seats. So what we have learned from what was supposed to be the most exciting general election in the last 20 years is that we, the Great British people are a bunch of compulsive liars and are too scared to actually vote for what we believe in. And as human nature deals the card, we are a bunch of sheep and no one likes to stand out from the crowd.

For weeks everyone has being saying that they would vote for the Liberal Democrats, yet when it came to standing in that little booth, a majority chickened out, leaving the party with a mere 51 seats, however this is the most they have ever won, so this is an improvement in some respects.

Living up to their true ‘sitting on the fence’ stereotype, it looks like we would rather have in first place a smarmy plastic face ponce running the country, in second a bumbling Scotsman who calls old ladies bigots (although we quite liked that), and least of all, a normal eloquent man, who actually wants to sort out the country sensibly. Never mind, it’s all down to a hung parliament now, so we shall have to see whether the Conservatives decide to share the responsibilities of running the country or whether they’re going to take over and not do anything they said they were going to do in their campaign. May 25th will see the absolute deadline for a decision to be made, so hang tight til then!

Hannah Shakir