No sex century

A WRINKLY 103-year-old virgin says the secret to her longevity is not having sex.

Gladys Gough, of Coventry, said instead of shagging around she dedicated her life to seeing the world with her sister Edna – which frankly flies in the face of everything we’ve learned about backpackers.

“I never got married or had a boyfriend,” said the cobweb-fanny. “That probably had something to do with it. I just couldn’t be bothered with men.”

Which begs the disturbing question, if no sex makes you live longer just how long will be listening to Susan Boyle for? It’s a frightening thought.