Loyal to a fault

YOU know those clips in You’ve Been Framed and Australia’s Funniest Home Videos where a kid’s playing football in the back garden and he kicks the ball into his dad’s nuts? Funny at first, not so funny when you’ve just watched the 532^nd variation of it.

Well now imagine the same situation in reverse, with the kid getting pummeled in the nuts.

Still kind of funny to be honest but that didn’t stop Clydebank man Ross McBride from panicking when the one-year-old he’d just accidentally booted in the balls started to “swell up” in the downstairs area.

Naturally, he did what any rational-thinking adult would do in the situation – and tried to use a loyalty card to keep the swelling down. When that, shockingly, didn’t work he tried another approach – using the card to saw at the kid’s genitals in an attempt to get to the swelling.

Surprise, surprise, that didn’t work either and McBride was charged with culpable and reckless conduct. Which, frankly, isn’t the worst charge we could think of leveling at him.