Kyrgyzstani Authorities Ban Prostitues from Visiting PrisonersThey say you can judge a society by how it treats its criminals. In America they have the death penalty, in the Middle East they cut off people’s hands and in Hartlepool, they hang monkeys.

But they all pale in comparison next to the backward thinking of Kyrgyzstan after authorities in the country decided to deny prisoners their basic human right to shag prostitutes. What are we, animals?

Under the old rules, randy Kyrgyzstani offenders could receive visits from family members and ‘others’. The basic flaw in this law is that ‘family members and others’ basically means everyone – so they were just bringing in whores for a bit of caged heat.

But, new restrictions have put a stop to it and, quite understandably, the slapper-starved inmates are up in arms. Prisoners in several jails have launched hunger strikes in a bid to bring back their paid-for beauties.

“Prisoners at seven prisons have refused to take their meals,” said Joldochbek Bouzourmankoulov, spokesman for the country’s prison-sentencing agency.

“Prisoners had the right for visits from their families and ‘other’ people. But under the label for ‘others’, they were bringing prostitutes to the prison.”

From now on, only relatives with identity cards showing their ties to inmates can visit. The news is another blow to Lindsay ‘train wreck’ Lohan, who is currently happy to do anything or anyone for a bit of extra cash. Looks like it’s back to jewellery store theft for you Linds! Just don’t do it in the Middle East.

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