Brand-shagger, Katy Perry, has decided to
celebrate her fiance’s birthday by giving us
all a present. She’s blasting Russell Brand into
Yes he used to make us laugh, yes we
used to wank over her tits – but since the
two of them got together, Katy and Russ
have been infesting the front pages with
their loved-up weirdness far too often. No
more we say! And thanks to Katy’s present,
our wish appears to have been granted.
Low-cut top ambassador Katy surprised Russ
during a birthday dinner by dressing up as an
astronaut and presenting her beau with a
£100,000 gift to fly in a spaceship.
The next question is how much does it cost
to bribe someone at NASA to sabotage a
ship’s life support system. Any ideas?