Katie Under Cruise Control

MORE madness from Scientology’s main man, Tom Cruise.
Unable to get his kicks from work, he’s once again turned his attentions to meddling with his hostage’s life.
Apparently Katie Holmes’s captor has put her on a Scientology detox diet consisting of brown rice and other rank shit you wouldn’t prod with a stick.
Since being sold into Hollywood slavery, sources have reportedly said Katie Holmes is depressed and feels like she has no control over her life, adding, “Tom says that she’s clearing her mind and body of all the toxins she may have picked up in the outside world.”
Quick! Someone break this chick out of that joint and give her some tequila and a happy meal.