If you’re sensitive, then don’t read the below. If you’ve got strong views on feminism, then don’t read the below. If you’re offended by bad language, then don’t read the below. Basically you get the picture about how gross some of these jokes are… so for the depraved BBM readers out there, we hope these are to your liking.
Just been reading the instructions on my suppositories:
Insert two inches up anus.
Keep out of reach of children.
Think I’ll do three inches to be on the safe side. Jack, Jundaloop
My son asked me to help with his homework the other day. The question he was stuck on was, “Give two ways to stop pregnancy.”
After telling him what to write I was confident he would be getting top marks.
According to his teacher though, “fucking her up the shitter,” and “blowing your load all over her tits,” were both wrong answers. Charlie, Surry Hills
Found a great way of getting rid of cellulite. I just went on a week long piss up with a few mates…
came home and the cellulite was gone. Rob, St Kilda
There’s a party in my pants…
But it’s members only. Bret, Adelaide
I forgot to buy my girlfriend a card for our anniversary, so I’ll pick one up on my way home tonight.
Preferably blonde, with big breasts. Jonah, Bondi
Have you ever written some shitty fucking song when you were a kid and thought it was really brilliant?
Ha ha! Its so funny when you listen back.
Justin Bieber didn’t appreciate my criticism. Paul, Richmond
I love the new telescope my wife bought me and the detail I can pick out is amazing… like the mole on the right tit of the woman at number 36. Trent, Darlinghurst
I named my race horse after my late wife.
Trouble is nobody wants to ride ‘The Fat Cunt.’ Stacey, Fitzroy
Women wake up yawning and men with an erection.
Coincidence?
I think not. Jo, Fremantle
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