In the crap

FESTIVAL toilets. You use one on the morning of the first day and think ‘this ain’t so bad, what’s all the fuss about?’
Three days later, though, and you’d rather poo behind your mate’s tent than go within a five-metre radius of the fly-ridden, puke-stained, turd traps.
If the worst comes to the worst and you simply have to go, then it’s much like BBM’s love life – trousers down, get the job done, clean yourself up, then get the hell outta there. Now imagine the worst festival toilet experience you’ve ever had and multiply the smell by 1,000 and the time by 48 hours.
Welcome to the hellish world of an unlucky Chinaman who slipped into a poo-filled toilet pit in inner Mongolia and couldn’t get out for two days.
Finally, a passer-by heard his pleas for help and called emergency services. As soon as he was out, the excrement escapee ran to a nearby pond and the cleansing began. We’re sure the local ducks weren’t impressed.