From Dublin With Love

So your grandma is travelling abroad, eh? Better make sure she’s got everything she needs. Sunscreen? Check. Passport? Check. Denture paste? Check. Firearms? Che- Hand on a minute!
A Finglas grandmother was in the dock last week after she checked into a flight to Birmingham with two handguns in her handbag. The weapons were discovered when security scanned her bag just as she was about to board her flight to the Black Country. One was a loaded Walther pistol – the preferred weapon of 007 – the other was an unloaded modern pistol.
The wrinkly would-be assassin, who claims she did not realise the guns were in her bag, was detained overnight at Ballymun garda station and questioned by detectives.
She was later released, but not before raising a suggestive eye brow at her questioners, making a punning remark about their rock-hard truncheons and then giving them the best sex they are ever likely to have in their lifetime.
Oh grandma!