It’s the beginning of December, so before all the Christmas cheer starts, we thought we’d remind you of just how wrong we are at BBM. So sit back and enjoy this week’s gross jokes.
I was flirting with a drunk girl in a club last night, when I slowly ran my hand up her skirt and slipped my index finger into her minge.
As she started panting, 1 finger became 2, then 2 fingers became 3 and before I knew it she had 4 fingers inside her.
That’s when I looked at my mates and said, “Can you three fuck off?” Richard, St Kilda
My daughter and I share very different views when it comes to sex.
I see the back of her head, she sees the mattress. Dave, Fitzroy
What should you do if a condom splits?
The same. Dan, Surry Hills
I went to the doctor’s the other day about having an irritating boil removed.
The doctor couldn’t help, but he referred me to a guy who specialises in taking out ginger, four-eyed, Scottish bastards. Geoff, Darlinghurst
I picked up a girl in a bar and ended up back at her place. She said “Fuck me like there’s tomorrow.”
I said “You do realise it’s December 21st..” Maury, Kings Cross
I went on a date with a blonde woman last night.
“Do you have any kids?” she asked.
“Yes,” I replied. “I have one child that’s under two.”
She said, “I might be blonde, but I know how many one is.” Sam, Redfern
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