Cliff Richard Jokes

Are there no British pensioners that aren’t paedaphiles left? The latest allegations to emerge amongst the elderly, rich and famous is that apparently Cliff Richard might have fiddled an underage boy back in the 80s, when he was a mere 87-years-old. So in true BBM fashion when something shocking happens, here are our best Cliff Richard jokes.

Cliff Richard is the only celebrity who is practically guaranteed an immunity from the child sex allegations in the news.
Any of his potential victims would have died of old age a long time ago. Trent, Greenwich
Police have removed a large amount of material from a house belonging to Cliff Richard.
Fingers crossed it’s just child porn and not new music.

Richard, Derby
Cliff Richard goes to an old people’s home to host a sing-a-long but is surprised to discover that none of the residents recognise him. Puzzled, he takes an old lady aside and says, “excuse me, but do you have any idea who I am?”
“Sorry dear,” says the old lady, “but if you ask one of the nurses, they’ll tell you.”
Shaniqua, Paddington
My parents always used to sit and listen to Cliff Richard when I was younger.
Instead of actually coming in my room and stopping him.
Daffyd, Perth
What’s the difference between Mark Knoffler and Cliff Richard?
One’s in Dire Straits. The other’s in deep shit.

Mark, Habbingham
My mum just said that Justin Bieber is a modern day Cliff Richard.
I’d have to agree, they are both cunts.

Gareth, Bondi
Why is that when Sir Cliff Richard sings about wanting to have an intimate relationship with a “Living Doll” everyone finds it charming and endearing, yet when I get caught trying to fuck a mannequin I get asked to leave Debenhams before the police are called?
As usual it’s one rule for the rich and famous…
Fred, Lewes