Wherever you are in the world, we all share at least one thing in common: idiot politicians – or pollies, if you’re an Aussie. From your Gordon Browns to your George Dubya Bushes, we’ve – unfortunately – all had some right berks running our respective countries. So it’s only fair we take the piss out of ’em every so often, right? And in the case of Tony Abbott (see below), sometimes we don’t even have to make jokes as they do it all for themselves the minute they open their mouths…
Top 5 Australian Politics Jokes
Does anyone know any good Australian political jokes?
Yeah, I’ve got two: they’re called Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott
A man walks into a bar with a crocodile on a leash. He asked the bartender, “Do you serve pollies here?”
“Sure do,” said the bartender.
“Good,” the man replied, “Give me a Tooheys and the croc will have a polly.”
What’s the difference between an iPhone and Tony Abbott?
The iPhone can at least show some form of intelligence
How many pollies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him
Why do they bury pollies 12ft deep?
Because deep down, they’re good guys really.
Top 5 Tony Abbott Quotes
“Jesus knew that there was a place for everything and it’s not necessarily everyone’s place to come to Australia.”
“Bad bosses, like bad fathers and husbands, should be tolerated because they do more good than harm.”
“We have to get this straight: euthanasia is not about the right to die, it is about the right to kill.”
“Abortion is the easy way out. It’s hardly surprising that people should choose the most convenient exit from awkward situations.”
“We just can’t stop people from being homeless if that’s their choice.”
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