mulletVICTORIANS are shitting themselves that their beloved Aussie Rules is going the same way as the Tasmanian Tiger because of the increasing popularity of football.

Despite a poor showing at the World Cup by the Sheilaroos and having idiots like Craig Foster and Les Murray being the face of televised Australian football, the beautiful game has been increasing in popularity throughout the state.

The AFL are therefore preparing to go to battle by hiring all the local sports grounds for themselves and sticking a mullet-wearing AFL scarecrow in the semi-circle of all football pitches.

“We understand that soccer as a game will grow but what we hope doesn’t become an issue is space and grounds to play on,” said AFL Victoria chief Peter Schwab as he sipped on a can of VB from the back of his ute.

“If both sports continue to grow at current rates it could be a problem.

“We don’t work actively against soccer but we have to make sure we look after our sport. What we are trying to do is secure grounds as the pressure on facilities intensifies.

“That means working with councils to maintain our footprint and looking at areas under-utilised, like school grounds.”

Failing that, hunt the round ball-loving freaks into extinction.