bad-ass-advertising“A bivva-vivva-viv, good game, good game. Now, what have we got here… an inch-long smoking pipe, eight tattoo needles, a small bag, a bottle of ink, a bag of tobacco, a cigarette lighter – wahey – a cuddly toy!”
Unfortunately, these aren’t lines from the Generation Game as Bruce ‘king of showbiz’ Forsythe calmly guides a confused pensioner through the items rolling by on a conveyor belt.
Instead they’re all things that we’re produced, one by one, from the remarkably accommodating ‘relaxed’ rectum of a prisoner in Washington.
Initially, nothing was discovered on the unnamed felon during a strip search.
But when a prison official later discovered a plastic bag and duct tape in the toilet, the prisoner was questioned again and ‘gave up’ the contraband.
We can only assume he shat himself. Admittedly we made the cuddly toy bit up for comedy purposes but it’s still an impressive haul.