Sawed Off The Rings

AS most blokes in a loving, long-term relationship will tell you, there’s usually nothing more satisfying than the first time you squeeze into, and break, a woman’s ring.
What? You think we’re making some sort of cheap bum-shafting reference? Dirty, dirty readers.
Well if you can drag your mind out of the gutter for a few seconds, we’ll tell you the tale of James Bill, 42, of Wolverhampton, who had to have specially-trained firefighters drafted in during a three-and-a-half hour struggle to free a swollen finger from a ring his girlfriend had given him eight months previously.
The Brummie’s ringfinger managed to break five saw blades before a technical team from Bickenhill near Birmingham Airport were called in.
They eventually used a titanium blade to saw through the bloody thing.
So to recap. James’s ring was so tight that several men who slide up and down their big poles every morning couldn’t break into it. Takes us right back to Sydney Mardi Gras…