Anything You Can Do Zac Guildford Can Do BetterPossibly feeling upstaged by the antics of certain English players, Zac Guildford has attempted to steal the headlines.

The All Blacks wing is alleged to have turned up to the Trader Jacks bar – on the main island of Rarotonga, Cook Islands – naked, dripping wet, and bleeding from a cut on his forehead.

Guildford is then accused of assaulting two people, including an Aussie celebrating his 60th birthday (hopefully all the while screaming ‘Mike Tindall is a pussy!’).

Guildford has apologised profusely and said he feels ‘hugely embarrassed’ by the allegations, and insists he has no memory of the events. He has been disciplined three times over the last eighteen months for heavy drinking, but is not expected to lose his NZRU or Crusaders contract, with general manager, Neil Sorenson, saying that Guildford needs to be supported rather than cut loose.

It’s now back to the England team for the next round of ‘Drunken Rugby Dickhead Night Out!’

By Peter Simpson
Twitter: @weasel_delight